The unnegotiables | 2 min read

Hey Do-er,

Hope your Sunday is chill and rewarding.

The story

Major events in our lives force us to rethink our priorities and how we spend our time.

• Sometimes it's a gain: a promotion, a new job, the birth of a child.

• Sometimes it's a loss: being let go, or losing someone close to us.

Either way, disruption has a way of reshaping who we are.

Because the truth is your priorities aren't what you say they are—they're what you spend your time on.

You can't claim something matters if it never shows up in your calendar.

That's why I was so glad to hear from Melissa.

I met her through Luke, a coworker of mine who passed away from colon cancer in 2024. Aside from briefly running into her and her son Henry (and their dog Hank) near High Park, we hadn't spoken since Luke's celebration of life.

She felt different this time. Lighter. The spark was back in her eyes, and a new smile to welcome a new perspective that had taken hold.

She told me about something she now does every month:

The Unnegotiables

Five days she commits to, no matter what, to stay aligned with what matters most.

Here they are:

1. Get Your Shit Together Day

Handle the life admin—pay bills, book appointments, clear the mental clutter that builds up.

2. Unplug Day

Step away from screens. Limit your phone. Be present. Walk, read, think.

3. Tourist Day

Explore your own city like a visitor. Try a new restaurant. Visit a new park. We chase the world but ignore what's right in front of us.

4. Reconnection Day

Reach out to people who matter. Call your parents. See a friend. Relationships are what make everything else meaningful.

5. Mini Adventure Day

Do something new. Take a class. Cook a new dish. Visit a museum. Break the routine.

I was on her list for Reconnection Day—and I'm glad I was.

We caught up, shared stories, and without trying, she reminded me of something simple:

If it matters, make time for it.

The Pebble

Comic thanks to: https://lianafinck.com/, check her out!

The challenge
Melissa didn't just tell me about her non-negotiables. She showed me. I was on the calendar.

So here's the ask: pick one of her five days and put it in your calendar before you close this email. Then, maybe text one person and tell them which day they're on.

That's how it becomes real. That's how it stops being an idea and starts being a life.

And in honour of Luke—and everyone still fighting—consider one more unnegotiable this month:

Support colon cancer research

Some unegotiables are about us. Some are about each other.