The story

Snow day! Snow day.

On Thursday, the kids woke up to a snow day. They quickly put on their snow pants, jackets, mitts, and hats, then went outside to shovel snow into piles, make tunnels, and find creative ways to enjoy it.

I shovelled the sidewalk for my neighbours, especially the one who’s been angry with us and whose relationship with us has broken down.

The last time it snowed, he shovelled snow onto the street, probably to block a parking spot. I even have a video of him shovelling around our car, always sticking to his side. It’s been years since we got along. We’ve argued, he’s thrown garbage on our front yard, dumped yard waste in our backyard, and plays loud music wherever we are, front or back. Even though he’s married and has two kids at home, he seems unhappy with everything.

So when we found a dead bird on our porch, my wife and I both thought it was a “gift” from this neighbour.

Then my kids started calling him a jerk.

We ended up stuck in a cycle of negativity, reinforcing each other’s negative comments about him.

(Have you called anyone a jerk lately? Repeatedly?)

And it’s not a good place to be.

Our brains love oddly shaped, patterned blocks

In a now-famous Harvard study, researchers had 27 people play Tetris for hours each day for three days. Afterward, the participants couldn’t stop seeing falling blocks everywhere. From dreams, cereal box rows at the grocery store, to the bricks in large buildings — they saw life as one big game of Tetris.

Playing so much literally rewired their brains. It’s called a “cognitive afterimage,” and it occurs when repeated actions create new neural pathways and alter how we perceive the world.

And what researchers discovered is that this “Tetris Effect” works on everything, not just colourful falling blocks.

The downside: You might know some of these people. They’ve learned to scan for problems, annoyances, and stressors. They complain about it being too hot, instead of the beautiful sunshine. They’re the George Costanzas, Charlie Brown, and Eeyores of the world.

But on that same snowy day, I caught myself noticing how peaceful the neighbourhood looked, the neighbours waving at each other, the kids’ laughter. You can choose where to focus your attention, even in challenging situations.

And negativity is the default setting

Society, education, work, etc., encourage us to notice problems. The news is full of problems. Your parents tell you what you’re doing wrong. At work, managers zero in on the issues and how to fix’em.

Knowing this, you may develop a soft spot for tax auditors always looking for mistakes, lawyers poking holes in arguments, and even police looking to catch you in the wrong. This hyperfocus on flaws at work rewires our brains to keep scanning for them… at home.

But the good news is, just like Tetris gamers rewired their brains to see blocks everywhere, you can rewire yours to focus on the good stuff. And when you do, the benefits are massive — happiness, gratitude, and optimism become your new default settings.

Gratitude kinda gives you unlimited lives

Where your focus goes, energy flows. Focusing on the positive isn’t just about feeling good in the moment. Studies show that gratitude rewires your brain and makes you a better, more resilient human.

Losing a job is a gut-wrenching experience. While money is tighter, I also have free time to learn new skills and spend time with my kids.

Psychologist Robert Emmons found that grateful people are more energetic, forgiving, and emotionally intelligent. They’re also less depressed, anxious, and lonely.

Gratitude isn’t a result of happiness. It’s a cause.

Practicing gratitude creates a feedback loop where noticing good things makes you happier, which makes you notice even more good things. In 2025, I’ve had a helluva year, but by focusing on the good, I’ve been able to power through.

The Pebble
A little help to get you started

Personal self-help guru, author, and speaker Tony Robbins tests out podcaster Theo Von, and you can do it yourself right now.

Let’s take his test. Wherever you are, look around, all around, both sides for a colour like brown.

Now, after you finish reading this sentence, close your eyes and tell me everything you saw that was red (and when you can recall much more, open your eyes to continue reading).

With your eyes open, look for anything that’s red. You probably saw a lot more red because, as Theo puts it, you’re looking for red.

Tony says, “Once you develop a belief, you find what supports it.”

The challenge
Hack your brain in 60 seconds, 5 minutes max per day

When you train your brain to see the positive, you’re more optimistic. And optimism isn’t some fluffy, feel-good nonsense — It’s a tool for your toolbelt. Optimistic people set bigger goals (Misogi), work harder to achieve them, and stay engaged even when things get tough.

That’s why gratitude and optimism are like cheat codes for life. They don’t just make you feel good — they make you better at dealing with bad stuff, too.

The hard science

A study found that people who wrote down three good things daily for a week were happier and less depressed for months afterward. Even when they stopped, their brains kept scanning for positives, like muscle memory for happiness.

The key is specificity. Don’t just say, “I’m grateful for my job.” Write, “I’m grateful for the funny comment my coworker made during the meeting.” The more detailed, the better.

Rewiring your brain doesn’t require hours of meditation or thousands of dollars in therapy. It takes five minutes a day.

Here’s how:

1. Write down three good things every day. - At the end of each day, jot down three things that went well. Be specific. It could be the hilarious text your friend sent, the delicious pad Thai you ordered, or your kid’s big hug after school.

2. Make it a habit. Do this for a week. Then two. The more you stick with it, the more your brain will naturally scan for positives.

3. Share your gratitude. Tell others about the good stuff. Gratitude multiplies when you share it, and it strengthens your relationships in the process.