The gift of not gifting | 2-minute read

Happy Sunday, Bilbo.

Did you know that on a Hobbit’s birthday, they give gifts to everyone who comes to the party? It’s a lovely twist — the day you’re celebrated becomes the day you share gratitude. The party becomes a way to spread happiness, not just receive it. When you share, you receive even more in return.

The gift of giving

My son turned four this week. We threw him a typical birthday party with an atypical request: instead of gifts or toys, we asked everyone to bring a book—new or used—and hosted a birthday book exchange for him.

This is a 4-way win and made everyone happier.

1. My son won because he loves books, and he was ecstatic to get a new one at his birthday party. Not everyone read our instructions, so he ended up with a couple of toys, too, and that’s OK. I’m not trying to take away the kid’s joy, just trying to bring a little more joy to the planet and everyone else at the same time.

2. His friends won because they left with a new book (or at least one new to them), too. They didn’t complain that we didn’t give them a typical loot bag with candy, stickers, and dollar-store toys I’ll find under the couch and throw out in a few weeks, saving the planet again. Instead, they got books to be read and reread (and likely swapped again in the future).

3. His friends’ parents won because they didn’t have to waste time shopping and money buying a toy that would likely only be used for a week. Instead, they receive a book and have already made space on their shelf for it.

4. We won because our house isn’t cluttered with toys, our boys won’t fight over those toys, and we also get a new book to entertain the family at bedtime.

As a whole, the planet won through less consumption. It’s not as if he was robbed of joy. We’re not against gifts. We got him one he’ll enjoy for a while, which also gives us bonding time with him.

Gifts are great when they’re great gifts—and they don’t always have to come in wrapping paper. Saving Sundays author Tyler explains that Echoage is a platform where kids choose a charity they like, and parents contribute to a collective gift. The child receives half the money, while the charity gets the other half. It’s a bit awkward, but it works.

Next time you host a kids’ party, consider alternatives to make everyone happier, whether that’s giving them more time, saving money, or being generous.

Giving always feels better than getting.

The pebble

Here are five ways to give without giving stuff (wanna give back to us? Share this on Instagram!)

The best gifts don’t take up space; they make space for imagination, connection, and calm.

The challenge

Think about some of the best gifts you have gotten. What were they? What was it about the gifts that made you so happy? Who gave them to you? Where are they now? How can you give this week, to in turn, get what you need?

Thanks for reading. We’re honoured you’ve spent a bit of your day with us. If you’re feeling generous, why not forward this email to a friend?