The story

"How was your vacation?" was the first question Vikram, my friend, asked when I met him for lunch.

He didn't know the details, and while some people whip out their phone's photos to tell the tale, not me.

I didn't have many pictures to show him.

Instead, I resorted to the age-old method of storytelling.

He ended up with pictures: images formed in his head of what I was saying, and that was good enough, even if he got some of the details wrong.

Imagination is a wonderful thing.

I'm working to use my phone less.

I already leave it downstairs at bedtime to help my sleep quality. On this trip, I took it a step further and left it in my hotel room.

The days were for and with my family, not my phone.

Let's see how these words make visuals in your mind:

Disney is stimulation overload. Noises coming from all directions, people — even grown adults — dressed up and walking around. Endless options of places to go and things to do.

Unfortunately, Disney more or less forces you to use your phone to book FastPass spots and order food. A cellphone in your hand is good business for Disney, but not your brain.

I left mine in the room. My wife, Jen, and Uncle Chris navigated and ordered when needed. Only having to worry about the things in front of me — not the notifications, updates, and spam calls — brought real relief.

The next stop was the San Diego Zoo. This time, we navigated everything without a phone, so even Jen and Uncle Chris kept them away.

We watched animals with our eyes. Other visitors watched through screens, where the focus was on the aperture more than the beauty in front of them.

I'm glad I wasn't one of them.

The female tiger, agitated about something, started growling while we were watching. I was right next to the glass near a platform she could jump onto.

Then she did.

She growled louder and paced back and forth.

Crowds gathered around me. People with phones are trying to capture the experience without experiencing it.

They chose picture quality over presence — creating yet another barrier between themselves and the tiger, on top of the protective glass already there.

Then suddenly, she turned toward me. Face to face. A very loud warning growl that sent the crowd stumbling back.

I stood my ground.

Is this glass really strong enough?

Soon, the tiger turned, lifted her tail, and sprayed in my direction.

I was grateful for the glass — and for the lack of any additional barriers to that moment.

It was the highlight of the trip. I have nothing but a great memory and a tale to tell.

On the final day, we booked a whale watching trip out of Newport Beach — my fourth time with the same company.

Whale watching, like bird watching, is fun even when you don't see anything. The anticipation, the journey itself, is the point.

We didn't see any whales. We saw two dolphins. The water was calm and quiet.

A failed whale watching trip is still a successful boat trip.

We spent two hours staring at open water, which created space for open conversation. No one reached for a phone. Everyone on that boat left with the same number of whale photos as we did — except they also left with disappointment, whereas I left with the desire to come back and try again.

Picture this

Vikram went on to share that when he was in Paris at EuroDisney, he got a call from a client and begrudgingly answered it, despite being on vacation with his family. He regrets it.

The call lasted six minutes, but the impact lingered far longer. His family received an unintended message: this call is more important.

Vikram knows better now. He's built firm boundaries between work and family time, and recently deleted all his social media — except LinkedIn, which I also struggle with.

We work hard for our money. We deserve to go on vacation.

So take a proper one. Be present.

The Pebble
A whale of a time

This is a gray whale (Eschrichtius robustus) breaching — leaping partially out of the ocean. You can identify it by its characteristic mottled, dark gray skin covered in white patches and barnacles/whale lice, which give it that speckled appearance. Gray whales lack a dorsal fin, which is also consistent with what's visible here.

Gray whales are baleen whales found primarily in the North Pacific, famous for one of the longest migrations of any mammal — travelling up to 12,000 miles round-trip between their Arctic feeding grounds and warm-water breeding lagoons in Baja California, Mexico.

Was this photo and its description worth more than the boat trip?

The challenge
Go without

Try to put your phone away just once this week. Leave it at home on purpose and enjoy the disconnect. Remember the feeling. Cherish it. Hopefully, you’ll find ways to do it more often.