Part 3: How to be happy | 3.5 minute read

This is part three in a four part series. If you haven’t read them yet, start with part one and part two.

Being bad at things is frustrating. There’s nothing worse than feeling incompetent at a new hobby, skill, job, whatever – especially in front of people. And especially in front of new people.

That’s how I felt a couple years ago when I had the crazy idea to start sailing.

My girlfriend and I took sailing lessons together at a yacht club, where a bunch of crazy volunteer sailors took us complete newbies aboard their own boats and taught us how to adjust lines to trim sails (catch the right wind), tie knots, and jibe and tack (switch the direction of the boat).

What I expected was to learn to sail, which I did – though I’m still not very good at it.

What I didn’t expect was for this community of experienced sailors to take us in as one of their own so quickly.

They never made us feel embarrassed for messing up, they never judged. They welcomed us as sailors and as friends.

I’ve previously written about my journaling habit and how it makes me happier. As I’ve flipped through the pages, reflecting on the years, I’ve realized my happiest days all had something in common: they were all spent with other people.

And that’s what Aristotle’s third level of happiness, beatitudo, is all about.

While level one happiness comes from things and experiences and level two comes from achievement, level three happiness comes from the sense of community (or communities) we build throughout our lives.

Simply, it gives us a slightly deeper sense of happiness than the first two.

That’s not really surprising, though, is it? People who have close friends are happier and, believe it or not, tend to live longer.

I’m very lucky that, in my life, I’ve made amazing friends.

I’m still close with my high school friends and I’ve made lifelong friends at university, at work, and, now, through sailing.

One of the lessons I learned from my sailing adventures is that you’re never too old to make new friends and build – or become part of – a community.

I guess you just never really know when you’ll meet the people who will change your life and make you a little bit happier.

The pebble

The challenge

Friendships are easy to neglect, especially as we get older. Life gets in the way, but a big part of living is spending time with friends. So, this week, make plans with a friend — and follow through on them.

Thanks for reading. We’re honoured you’ve spent a bit of your day with us. Feel free to reply and tell us a funny story about you and your best friend. If you’re feeling extra generous, why not forward this email to them and let them know you appreciate them?