SAVING SUNDAYS

Happy Sunday. No Sunday Scaries this week.

This happened.

I was restructured out of my job.

The rug was pulled out despite meeting my leadership-defined goals ahead of schedule and pitching new ideas and ways we could grow the business.

They said AI is here, the market has been disrupted, and there's nothing we can do. We see no future for you here.

Objectively, this happened.

Subjectively, this is bad, right?

You have no control. You're alone (and now without a laptop), and your head is full of "What now?"

You start spiralling:

• What about the mortgage or rent payments?

• Who's hiring in this economy?

• Is this where AI wins, and I lose?

At first, you're angry and disheartened. You start pointing fingers and questioning your worth. You're stuck in a cycle of pain.

But I have the unfortunate good fortune of having been through this before.

We see no future for you here. Let's break that apart.

"We see no future" - that's the objective line.

"for you" - that's their perspective.

And it feels great to know the difference.

I see a future for myself. It's too bad they don't see a future for their business.

In 2010, Conan O'Brien wasn't given the opportunity he had spent 17 years working towards - going from late late show to the late show. Instead of wallowing, he turned to trying. He went onto social media, did stand-up, and made a documentary - and it was the most satisfying career decision he ever made.

Few things are more liberating than having your worst fear realized, he said. It is our failure to become the perceived ideal that defines us. If we can accept misfortune and the perceived failure, it can lead to our reinvention.

Psychologists call it cognitive reframing. It's a technique that can help you see your situation in a new light.

You may not always control what happens, but you have the power to control what it means to you. This is where your strength lies.

The stoic, Epictetus, said:

"Don't let the force of an impression when it first hits you knock you off your feet… Hold on a moment; let me see what you are and what you represent."

Remember, you're not pretending everything's fine. You're making a conscious choice not to hand over the wheel to your circumstances.

Yes, this happened. But what happens next is still up to you.

The pebble

Watch Conan O'Brien's commencement speech, discussing how a perceived failure turns into a career success.

The challenge

Change one sentence.

That story you're telling yourself about something bad that happened?

Rewrite it.

Start with:

"This happened."

Then add:

"And now I get to…"

Examples:

• "This happened. And now I finally build that thing I've always dreamed of."

• "This happened. And now I get to take control of my time."

• "This happened. And now I get to see what I'm really made of."

Write it down. Say it out loud.

After you've reframed your experience, take a small action that aligns with your new perspective. This will reinforce your new narrative.

Thanks for reading.

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