How to survive the holidays | 5 minute read

A cozy cottage in the white snow, an abundance of cocktails, delicious food, family laughter, and a temperature of 102°.

After a day of Christmas ice skating, I fell asleep and woke up the next day at 5.

P.M.

I took some Tylenol, slept, and the next morning, my brother-in-law drove me 2 hours to the hospital emergency room.

I was hoping to visit the rapid assessment unit for some blood work and an antibiotic prescription, but I was admitted for Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV).

I celebrated New Year's Day alone in bed, watching behind the glass a dozen nurses holler "Happy New Year” from the lounge.

And it’s happened to me before.

In 2022, I was admitted over New Year's with Pneumonia after hosting Christmas Eve for the first time.

I typically get depressed around the holidays, too. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is as real as consecutive holiday hangovers.

At Christmas, we push our bodies to the brink with excess food, booze, and stress.

Daily hospital visits nearly double compared to the rest of the season. Your mind feels it too, with more than half of Canadians saying the holidays hurt their mental health, according to Statistics Canada.

Last week, Justin wrote about saying yes when opportunities arise: Forget the excuses, worries, and fear holding you back from what you want in life.

This week, for the holidays, give yourself permission to say no.

As Justin reminded me on our weekly call, “the stress [at Christmas] comes from doing shit you don’t want to do.”

• The obligations to see everyone — don’t fraternize with the fucked up side, set your boundaries.

• The traditions you painstakingly endure despite times changing — give up the goose, manage expectations, order takeout.

• The pressure and expectations on gifting — people don’t need more junk to take up space in a crowded house. Give to yourself first.

With divorced parents, two siblings each with two kids on my side, and on my wife’s — a new widow, three siblings (two with two kids and one with a new-to-us partner from the other side of the world) there are many chances to do “shit you don’t want to do” and turn Christmas into a Christmess. Here’s how I’m avoiding it.

• Less drinking — the seasonal depression + next day depression adds up.

• Less socializing — fewer parties, fewer ways to breathe in the flu virus.

• Less spending — prioritizing meaning with the ol’ rule of thumb (something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read).

• Managing expectations — Christmas morning is for my wife and kids. No one else.

• Sticking to routines — water ✅, workout ✅, in bed on time ✅, a little self-care, some fruit and vegetables to balance out the cake, cookies, and candy canes.

• Taking breaks — it’s one time you get off. Put your phone down, lock your door, read a book, stop doom scrolling, and take a walk. Get outside.

And at some point, go full Hygge. It’s a Danish/Norwegian concept of cozy contentment and comfort, maybe with good company. Translation: Hot cocoa by the fireplace (even if it’s just on TV), a big comfy chair with an old movie, a meal that takes hours, and those long conversations catching up with the people that matter.

While I couldn’t go the entirety of 2025 without a visit to the hospital, I hope to kick start next year on the right foot with a newer tradition.

On New Year’s Eve, after the kids are in bed, we celebrate “Treat Yo’Self,” where adults buy what they wanted but didn’t get, often resulting in laughs and dopamine. Highly recommended.

The Pebble

In preparation for the holiday horrors joy, my son’s therapist reminded me I’m NOT his supporter or protector. I’m his dad.

I’m to offer him what no one else can — love and unconditional positive regard.

With all the stress and rush, we get involved in the solve. We become the “fixers” when what people really need is space. An ear that listens free from judgement, but is curious. “Empathy is feeling with people,” René Brown says, “what makes something better is connection.”

The Challenge

Your role at Christmas is to be present, not a present.

While the holidays hit hard like a dump truck smashing into your nervous system, reframe your common triggers and stressors (e.g., politics, awkward moments, travel delays) as opportunities for regulation. Here are a few more tips:

• Lower perfection pressure. Expect less. You can control effort, not outcomes.

• Embrace the mess. Kintsugi is a Japanese practice where broken items, once repaired, become the most meaningful. If you break a gift before wrapping it, breathe and remember that tough moments make the best stories.

• Practice slowing down. When cleaning counters, relax shoulders, stand upright, and enjoy cleaning. Don’t rush brushing your teeth; appreciate this peaceful moment. Mindfulness isn’t about a blank mind but staying unaffected by mental chaos.

• If you’re overwhelmed, turn the blob into a list, and do the next step. Prioritize your finite time and its to-do list. Say no, schedule personal downtime. If you need space to let your emotions rise and fall, find it.

• Set boundaries. (Google the Nedra Glover Tawwab Framework to really know how to do it).

• Choose quality over quantity. With gifts, with people. Give meaning and connection.

• Travel with sleep at the forefront. If you’re travelling, bring a pillow, earplugs, and a sleep mask and treat delays as an opportunity to practice your tolerance for discomfort.